Silence..

So I've been getting over a cold the last few days and have learned to appreciate what I have in the process.  Now there are many things one can value when you are sick.. someone taking care of you, health insurance, not having a serious condition.. etc.  In my case, I appreciate the way I am able to communicate every day... that is, except for the last two days.  For the first time ever, I have completely lost my voice.  For the last two days I have not been able to communicate verbally.   I have been able to manage a  light whisper today but not even worth attempting to have a conversation.  I could barely order a cup of tea, hoping the cashier could read my lips.  I have to tap on the table to get the attention of someone across the table from me.  I can't take phone calls meanwhile my mom keeps calling me to see how I'm doing.  It is quite a challenging position to be in and tough to adapt to in such a short time.  I'm sure if this was a permanent condition (hoping that's not the case) I would learn the skills through Occupational therapy to get me through my day to day life.  Since I don't have those skills I've been adapting on my own... writing notes on paper, mouthed words slowly so people can read my lips, I even downloaded an app on my iPad that allows me to type a text that the device will read it allowed.  (This one was a lot of fun but not practical for every instance.)  I will say thought... as difficult as it has been, I do think some where during the two days, I actually started to appreciate the silence.  It seems that my girlfriend also appreciates the silence : /

Picking up where you left off

So I was feeling somewhat distant from my friends lately.  In trying to fit different things in your life sometimes you get so busy you don't have the energy to stay up late or go out at night.  Well tonight was a friend's birthday and a lot of people I haven't seen in a while were there.  Though its hard to not see your friends regularly, when you do get to see them after such a gap it can be that much more rewarding.  The evening was very mellow, catching up was more genuine and leaving was that much harder.  I don't want the gaps to be that far apart, but I appreciated them each a little more this evening.

Never take your friends for granted and always pick up where you left off as often as possible, even when that seems like a long time.

What happened to the movies?

What happened to all the good movies?  I haven't gone to the movies in a while, half due to price and half due to.. there are no good movies!  I want  a good suspense thriller.. like the days of Primal Fear, Silence of the Lambs or maybe The Sixth Sense.  Now a days its all remakes.. Three Musketeers, The Thing, and Footloose.  If its not a remake, its a super hero... Captain America, X-Men (and this is coming from someone that loves the X-Men), or Ironman.  I want to go to a movie and be shocked at the end... I want to say.. "no way!" and truly never saw it coming.   The last movie that somewhat shocked me was Bridesmaids and if you saw this movie, you know why.  I will admit.. it made me laugh but I'm still in need of something that catches me and keeps my attention until the end.

Can anyone recommend a good suspense/thriller book?

How iSee an Icon

"When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: ‘If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.’ It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." - Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs died this week and it has left many people wondering about Apple and if they will continue to succeed without his innovation and vision.  I personally enjoy Apple products as I own a MacBook and iPod and would love an iPad.  I've always appreciated the creativity he has added to his products and how forward thinking he was in user experience, technology and his business.

Since his death I have started to appreciate more, how he lived his life.  He was a college drop out that pursued a passion and put a dent in the world.  The quote above is something that will stick with me.  I've heard the expression "live each day as if it was your last" but I have never seen or knew someone that really applied it like it seems Steve Jobs had to his everyday.  The quote above challenges you to ask yourself a question and if you answer "no" for too long, than change something.  We should all utilize this as a gauge in our lives.  Too many times we get into a routine that somehow turns into a rut and then we seem stuck.  I am guilty of having fallen into that routine and getting stuck.  It took me a while to realize that I had control over the situation and can change the circumstances, which finally I did.  Steve Jobs has changed the way I see and use technology, which has affected the lives of many but this quote has made a bigger impact on me. It has changed the way I make decisions in my life and it will stay with me til my last day,  and for that I am grateful.  

Juggling It All

I've been exploring new interests and revisiting old interests.  Doing so has revived me and stimulated my spirit.  However, I'm starting to feel like I'm swinging too far in the opposite direction.  I'm trying not to solely focus on work, but have I added to much to my plate?  

I have a full-time job, and now go to school, I want to keep working out and eating right, would be nice to continuing drawing, I gotta make time for my family, friends and relationship.... not to mention the things I'd like to do on top of this.  Maybe I'm just an extremist and can't find a middle road.  Ok, I'll hold off on the quilting class... for now. 

Weight watching or not really watching at all

I mentioned that at one time in my life I was a Division 1 athlete.  I played basketball at Columbia University in New York.   I was a very fit person in those days.  We worked out 4 hours a day.  I would lift weights in the morning before class and then come back later that afternoon for practice.  When you work out that much in a day, you get to eat pretty much whatever you want.  Well, I should have been eating high energy foods but I ate whatever I wanted.  My metabolism was so high I had problems gaining weight as you can probably see to the right.  My coaches put me on weight gainers to try and "bulk" up a bit.  Nothing really worked, that is, until I graduated and stopped working out 4 hours a day.  The real problem was that I stopped working out 4 hours a day but kept eating "whatever I wanted".   Gaining a little bit of weight was ok with me.  I felt I was too thin in college.  I still worked out while I lived and worked in New York, 1 hour a day at least 3 days a week.  When I moved to Philly I stopped all physical activity, except the physical activity of chewing my food.  Once you get into the routine of not working out, even for 1 hour a day, it is a very hard routine to get back into.  As a former college athlete, you mentally feel like you are still that athlete.  Like you can pick up where you left off.  Since I was a college athlete 12 years went by and 45lbs came on.   Now that I've changed my focus to include balance I have made changes to correct this.  You will soon see how.

August 2010

I QUIT!  Yup, I said it and it felt good.  I said it without another job to fall back on.  After 5 years of dedication and lots of frustration I had had enough and gave my notice.  Now don't get me wrong, I handled it professionally and did full knowledge transfer but after those two weeks I walked out and had nothing lined up.  Was I crazy?  I mean we all know what is happening in the economy and unemployment.  I knew the dire situation more than others since I worked in the employment industry but it was like I had gotten to the end of my rope and chose my health over the job.  Good for me, right!  Right :/ ?  Well it ended up being the best thing I had done in a long time.  I took the next couple of weeks to go visit family and spend time with my sister, who was battling cancer (and I'm proud to say, SHE WON.. cancer free as of today).  This is where "Mission Rose" started.  Now that I had all this time, what should I do?  Well clearly search for a job, but how could I take advantage of this? What do I like to do or rather what did I like to do, even better, what would I like to do?  And that's when I started to focus on me a little more.

I always enjoyed drawing, self taught, something I did as a child.  I kept drawing as I was in high school and college but it was something I did in private, always in pencil or charcoal.  It was an escape for me but nothing I was comfortable sharing.  So while I was unemployed my girlfriend got me the greatest gift I had gotten in a while, she got me painting classes.  It was very intimidating but freeing.  I think there was always this part of me that didn't want to be judged.  This was something I enjoyed doing and I didn't want anyone to tell me I wasn't good at it.  It was a short 6 week class, 4 hours on a Sunday.  I learned how to paint with acrylic and water color and I am sharing my first water color attempt with you all.

Four Score and well, really just seven years ago...

So to understand why this blog is taking place, I am going to have to take you back about 7 years ago to the person I was.  I lived in New York City and worked in television.  The TV business can be a very stressful business.  I worked on live sporting events for a major network and it was my role to count us on and off the air, count in and out of commercial, count in and out of tape.. I was essentially a professional backwards counter.  The best part of the job was it stayed there.. at work. Once you were off the air.. you were off the air.  I would think about how I could do something better the next time or what I could try new to make the show flow more smoothly, but you were able to just go home and focus on you and your personal interests.  7 years ago, I worked out regularly, loved to draw, did a crossword whenever I could find one, would read new books and explored the city.  Soon I got to a point where I wanted to try something new, explore a new city, try a new career, so I moved to Philadelphia.  I switched my career from TV to business development with an IT recruiting company.   I knew nothing about business development nor recruiting.  Did I mention that a relationship also brought me to Philadelphia.. selective memory I suppose?  Well regardless, I did it.. made major changes in order to try something "new"and the what did I discover? CHANGE IS HARD! I knew nothing about business development nor recruiting and this company did not provide an extensive training program, I read a manual and was handed a phone.   I knew no one in Philadelphia and 5 months later.. that relationship.. yep, it ended.  Now what.. should I go back to NYC to what is familiar or stick it out?  Well clearly I stuck it out, but everything I did was focused around my new potential career.  Business development and recruiting can be a 24/7 business.  What new contacts can I find, what networking events should I attend, where can I find potential candidate for the positions I was bringing in.  I actually started doing well, was eventually promoted to run the branch, things were going well right?  Maybe to some, maybe in my career but for the next 5 years, that's all I did.  No more crosswords, no more working out, no more drawing.   And then it happens, August 2010.. Mission Rose begins.